Feeling Low During Festivals and Holidays: Why It Happens and What Helps

The streets around the puja mandaps are full of light and dhak drums. Your phone is full of family photos, new clothes and plates of food. And you are sitting in your room feeling flat, tired, or quietly sad, wondering what is wrong with you when everyone else seems happy.

That feeling has a name: holiday blues. It is a low, heavy mood that can show up during festivals and long holidays, whether that is Durga Puja, Eid, Christmas or Buddha Purnima. It is common, it is understandable, and it usually responds to a few practical changes.

With the Puja holidays running through this week, here is why festivals can feel hard, and a simple plan for the long weekend.

Why do festivals sometimes make us feel worse?

Festivals carry big expectations. We are supposed to feel joyful, grateful and close to family. When real life does not match the picture, the gap itself hurts. A review of research on the Christmas period found that general mood may worsen for some people around major holidays, even though the pattern is not the same for everyone (Sansone and Sansone, 2011). The same pressures apply to our own festivals.

Common reasons I see in Dhaka:

• Loneliness. Students staying in hall or a mess because they cannot afford the trip home, or garment and office workers whose leave is too short to travel.
• Distance. Bangladeshis in the Gulf, Malaysia or Europe watching the celebration on a video call, unable to join.
• Comparison. A cousin’s new car, a sibling’s engagement, or relatives asking when you will marry, find a job or have a child.
• Money pressure. Gifts, new clothes and travel costs arriving at once.
• Exhaustion. Hosting, cooking and travelling on crowded buses and launches leave little rest.
• Grief. The first Puja or Eid without a parent or spouse.

What does grief feel like during celebrations?

Grief tends to return around anniversaries and gatherings. The empty chair at the table, the dish your mother used to cook, the rituals someone always led. This is a normal part of loss. For a minority of people, though, grief stays intense and disabling for a long time, which clinicians call complicated or prolonged grief, and it can improve with specific treatment (Shear, 2015).

It can help to include the person you lost in some small way: light a lamp, cook their recipe, visit the grave or say a prayer, share one memory aloud. Many families avoid naming the person so nobody cries. Often a few tears together bring more relief than silence.

Is loneliness really that serious?

Yes. A large meta-analysis found that loneliness and social isolation were linked to a meaningfully higher risk of early death, comparable to well known health risks (Holt-Lunstad and colleagues, 2015). Loneliness is not a weakness of character. It is a signal, like hunger, that you need connection.

Here is a composite example, with details changed for privacy. A young man from Sylhet working in a Gulf country called me during a long holiday. His family was gathering at home, and he had worked a double shift, eaten alone and spent the evening scrolling through their photos. He did not think he was depressed, just empty. We worked on small things: a fixed time to call home before the gathering rather than after, cooking a festival dish with two roommates, and a weekly session to talk through the months ahead. The next holiday was still hard, but he had a plan for it.

A practical plan for the long weekend

Low mood tends to pull us toward bed and phone. Gentle structure pushes back. Activity scheduling, planning small rewarding activities, is a well tested treatment for depression (Cuijpers and colleagues, 2007; Ekers and colleagues, 2014). Try this for the holiday:

1. Plan each day loosely. One thing for the body (a walk, stretching), one thing for connection (a call, a visit), one thing you enjoy (music, cooking, reading).
2. Limit social media. Set a time each evening to stop looking at other families’ photos.
3. Protect sleep. Late nights during the holidays can deepen low mood. Try to wake at roughly the same time.
4. Say no to some invitations. You do not have to visit every relative.
5. Prepare answers to painful questions. A short line like I am working on it, thank you for asking, ends the topic politely.
6. Reach out to someone else alone. A neighbour, a colleague who stayed back, an elderly relative. Giving connection often brings it back.

When to see a psychologist

Holiday blues often lift within days after the festival ends. Please seek help if:

• Low mood, emptiness or loss of interest lasts more than two weeks.
• Sleep and appetite have changed noticeably.
• You are drinking or using substances to get through the days.
• Grief still feels as raw after many months as it did at first.
• You feel hopeless or have thoughts of not wanting to live.

Our page on depression treatment in Bangladesh explains how therapy helps. If you live outside the country, see how sessions work for Bangladeshis abroad.

If you are in danger or thinking about ending your life, please call 999 or go to the nearest hospital emergency department. You can also contact Kaan Pete Roi through kaanpeteroi.org for emotional support. You do not have to get through this alone.

How I can help

Online sessions continue during holidays, which many people find easier when they are far from home. I see clients online 7 days a week by private video call, anywhere in Bangladesh and abroad, and in person at my chamber in Farmgate, Dhaka, on Friday and Saturday from 3 PM to 9 PM. Sessions last 45 to 50 minutes, in Bangla or English, and we fix the exact time on WhatsApp +8801929446548. If medication or a medical check is needed, a psychiatrist works in the same building.

Common questions

What are holiday blues?

Holiday blues are a temporary low or anxious mood around festivals and long holidays. They are often linked to loneliness, grief, family tension, money pressure, exhaustion or comparison with others. They usually ease within a few days after the holiday ends. Symptoms lasting longer than two weeks may point to depression and are worth assessing.

Why do I feel sad during Eid or Puja when everyone else is happy?

Festivals raise expectations of joy and togetherness. If you are far from family, recently bereaved, under financial strain or facing difficult questions from relatives, the gap between expectation and reality can feel painful. Seeing others celebrate online can deepen it. Feeling this way is common and does not mean something is wrong with you.

How can I cope with grief during a festival?

Allow the grief instead of hiding it. Include the person you lost in a small ritual, such as cooking their recipe, visiting the grave or sharing a memory. Keep some quiet time for yourself and accept support from family. If grief remains intense and disabling for many months, talk to a psychologist.

How do I cope with festival loneliness while working abroad?

Plan ahead instead of waiting for the day. Schedule calls home at a good time, share a festival meal with coworkers or friends, and limit scrolling through family photos. Keep your sleep regular. If loneliness keeps returning or turns into persistent low mood, online therapy can help from wherever you are.

সংক্ষেপে বাংলায়

উৎসবের সময় সবাই আনন্দ করছে, অথচ আপনার মন খারাপ, ক্লান্ত বা ফাঁকা লাগছে। এটাকে হলিডে ব্লুজ বলে। পূজা, ঈদ, বড়দিন বা বুদ্ধপূর্ণিমা, যেকোনো উৎসবেই এমন হতে পারে। কারণ হতে পারে একাকীত্ব, প্রিয়জনকে হারানোর কষ্ট, প্রবাসে থাকা, আত্মীয়দের প্রশ্ন, টাকার চাপ বা সোশ্যাল মিডিয়ায় অন্যদের সাথে তুলনা।

এমন অনুভূতি খুবই স্বাভাবিক, এবং সাধারণত উৎসব শেষ হলে কয়েকদিনের মধ্যে কমে যায়। ছুটির দিনগুলো একটু পরিকল্পনা করে কাটান, শুধু মন ভালো হওয়ার অপেক্ষায় বসে থাকবেন না। প্রতিদিন শরীরের জন্য একটা কাজ, কারো সাথে যোগাযোগ, আর নিজের ভালো লাগার একটা কাজ রাখুন। ঘুমের সময় ঠিক রাখুন, সোশ্যাল মিডিয়া কম দেখুন। হারানো মানুষটিকে ছোট কোনো আচারের মাধ্যমে স্মরণ করুন, যেমন তাঁর প্রিয় রান্না করা বা একটি স্মৃতি সবার সাথে ভাগ করা। একা থাকলে আরেকজন একা মানুষের খোঁজ নিন। দুই সপ্তাহের বেশি মন খারাপ থাকলে সাইকোলজিস্টের সাথে কথা বলুন। জরুরি অবস্থায় ৯৯৯ এ কল করুন বা নিকটস্থ হাসপাতালের জরুরি বিভাগে যান।

References

1. Sansone RA, Sansone LA (2011). The Christmas effect on psychopathology. Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience, 8(12), 10 to 13. Link
2. Holt-Lunstad J, et al. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: a meta-analytic review. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227 to 237. Link
3. Shear MK (2015). Complicated grief. New England Journal of Medicine, 372(2), 153 to 160. Link
4. Cuijpers P, van Straten A, Warmerdam L (2007). Behavioral activation treatments of depression: a meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 27(3), 318 to 326. Link
5. Ekers D, et al. (2014). Behavioural activation for depression; an update of meta-analysis of effectiveness and sub group analysis. PLoS One, 9(6), e100100. Link
6. World Health Organization (2025). Social connection linked to improved health and reduced risk of early death (WHO Commission on Social Connection report, From loneliness to social connection). Link

Written and reviewed by Psychologist Alal. This article is for information and does not replace a personal assessment.